Londoner's Diary: Tony says ‘move Parliament to Hebden Bridge’

“London is the dark star of the economy, inexorably sucking in resources, people and energy,” observed the LSE’s Professor Tony Travers in 2014. “Nobody knows how to control it.” But with both MPs and peers in Parliament and the Queen in Buckingham Palace facing the possibility of decamping while renovations are made to their historic homes, is it now the time for power to shift in the UK?

What thinks Travers? “Well, of course it’s all been discussed before,” he explains, “but perhaps this is the perfect opportunity to move power out of London. There are compelling arguments to decentralise the UK by moving Parliament. Why don’t we move it to ...” he trails off, reaching for Google Maps “... now, where’s sort of in-the-middle? Hebden Bridge! We could put it there. Moving capitals doesn’t always work out, though,” he adds, citing Canberra as a ropey example of a manufactured capital.

However, there might be an upside. “One likely result would be to profoundly increase the argument for self-governance and independence for London.” So if the major institutions were up north, London could apply for devolutionary status.

The idea might appeal to the Chancellor, George Osborne, as part of the ultimate realisation of his Northern Powerhouse strategy. But when approached, the Treasury booted it to the Commons, who in turn suggested we speak to the Northern Powerhouse minister James Wharton, whose spokesman said only that it was an “auspicious” suggestion.

Crozier hasn't forgotten Ed

Former ITV chief Lord (Charles) Allen was a Labour luvvie but is the broadcaster’s latest leader, Adam Crozier, of the same persuasion? In a speech at ITV’s summer reception last night, Crozier was boasting about how many politicians had come to its “Miliband studios” to be interviewed by his journalists. Crozier meant its riverside studios, Millbank. Still, nice to see Ed hasn’t been completely forgotten.

Sir Humphrey bends over for Helena

Skimpy shorts, camel poses and a Hollywood star: it’s all in a day’s exercise for soon-to-retire Civil Service bigwig Sir Simon Fraser. In a farewell interview for magazine Civil Service World, Fraser says that he has been doing Bikram yoga in humid rooms.

“The revelation that Fraser is into Bikram (or hot) yoga perhaps shouldn’t come as a surprise: in a 24/7 role like his, the ability to display extreme flexibility in heated situations is vital,” observes the mag.

Fraser goes on to describe his weekly class as made up of mostly “normal folk”, but there’s always room for another star. “I looked in the mirror,” Fraser says, “and the person on the mat behind me was Helena Bonham Carter.”

Highclere set are in sporty mood

Upstairs mixed with downstairs in Marylebone last night, as the cast of Downton Abbey threw a gala dinner in aid of sport organisation Special Olympics. Guests included Joanne Froggatt and Allen Leech, who play Anna Bates and Tom Branson.

The next series is set to be its last, and creator Julian Fellowes is finding it hard to leave class dramas behind. Currently overseeing a Broadway remake of School of Rock — “not a lady’s maid in sight”, he lamented — he also explained that his 2004 novel Snobs is set for a film adaptation. But could he be enlisted for the new remake of Swallows and Amazons? He appeared in a TV version in 1984 but we fear he may now be too old for sailing.

Who knew Rupe was a feminist?

Has the final frontier for feminism been crossed? The Garrick Club vote on whether to admit female members to the 200-year-old club may not be for another 10 days but inside its manly great hallway yesterday, history was made.

Catherine Mayer and Sandi Toksvig, right, co-founders of the Women’s Equality Party (WEP), were lunching at the Garrick with male member Professor David Mayer. He is Catherine’s father and has been vocal in calling for full access for women to the club so they can use its unique theatrical library.

As Toksvig and Mayer chatted at the foot of the staircase — a strapping symbol of sexism once restricted to males, while female guests were forced to scuttle up the backstairs — they were stopped mid- conversation.

“Two men came up to Sandi to wish us well with the Women’s Equality Party,” says Mayer. “I saw her look of surprise before I recognised who they were — Kelvin MacKenzie and Rupert Murdoch.”

MacKenzie, former editor of the feminists’ favourite tabloid, The Sun, though recently returned as a columnist, and the newspaper’s proprietor Murdoch, are not members of the Garrick themselves — they had been attending a memorial lunch for Arthur Brittenden, former deputy editor of The Sun.

Could it be in future we’ll see It was Sun Wot Won it for the WEP? Unlikely but...

Will the NSA ever forget Hollande's steamy phone calls?

As Barack Obama apologises to François Hollande for tapping French governmental phones, spare a thought for the National Security Agency operatives forced to listen into Hollande’s phone. His 2012 election allegedly coincided with the start of his affair with actress Julie Gayet — and presumably Serge Gainsbourg-style telephonic intimacies. Does the NSA offer compensation for that kind of thing?

Sacked corgi took the piss

When The Londoner went to see the revival of The Audience back in April, its director Stephen Daldry made a pre-show disclaimer: the corgis who star alongside Kristin

Scott Thomas as the Queen, pictured, were not used to the limelight and should be forgiven any misbehaviour.

Unfortunately, not all of the dogs adapted to treading the boards. Last month, we’re told, Ziggy lifted one leg and urinated in full view of the audience. His antics were greeted with delight by theatregoers, getting the biggest laugh of the night, but not everyone saw the funny side and he was promptly fired.

If Lenny Henry, who walked offstage at the press night of Educating Rita this week, decides to have a longer break, perhaps Ziggy could come on to add comic relief?

Rock star of the day: His Holiness the Dalai Lama is making a guest appearance at Glastonbury this Sunday. The obvious replacement for Foo Fighters?